Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve done the blog thing! Sorry about that. Let me catch yall up. Lots has happened in the past nine months. Had a mammogram, but it was far from a clean one. The areas were tagged as highly suspicious.
Yes, it scared the shit out of me. I have a history of suspicious masses in my breasts. So, I had to have my 5th biopsy in twenty years. Those of you who go through this know that the probability of it being cancer goes up with each biopsy. So, regardless of my chances and my fear I was willing to face things head on and be realistic. Made and appointment for a biopsy. Guess what? They couldn’t get to it.
I shit you not.
I’m blessed with big breasts so they had a time trying to shift, squish, and elongate my right boob in order to reach the area which was pretty deep. SO! I had to go to a different clinic with more expensive equipment. The radiologist was extremely nice. He showed me the masses on my mammogram and talked to me about why they were worrisome. I then laid on a table face down with my right boob hanging out of a hole where he proceeded to tell me everything he was doing in order to ease my mind.
The area was found to be benign.
Phew. For the fifth time, things were benign. Needless to say I’ve made a decision. When I can afford it or if my insurance pays for it I’m planning on a double mastectomy. While it won’t completely get rid of my chances for cancer, it will drastically reduce them. It’s not a decision I take lightly but just to inject a little more levity, it would be nice to wear a wife beater sans bra and not have my breasts touch my stomach.
Take note. I am not about offending or ridiculing cancer survivors. These are my opinions and thoughts based on my own perception of things. Okay?
With the scary came some other positives, my wife and I bought a house and moved from New Orleans to an area closer to the Bayou. I started a new job still doing the same thing, working with kids with mental health issues. Unfortunately at the moment, it doesn’t pay a lot, but I’m still here and thankfully working on a new book.
As I do my rewrites for my next full length novel, Drawing the Line (a romance so calm down), I’m starting to notice more and more that levity strengthens the angst and the humor. If you’re rolling your eyes at me and whispering that you knew this please stop lol. Remember I am still pretty new to professional writing so I’m learning things about my own style as I go along.
Now, back to the subject at hand.
The use of humor in a romance that’s also has instances of angst makes all those emotions punch a reader in the face. The funny shit is funnier and the sad stuff ties a reader in even tighter knots. Also, if you ask me, that special combination makes the sex hotter as well.
For Drawing the Line, I wrote what I personally think is one of the hottest most intense sex scenes I’ve ever written. Notice the distinction here, I said that I/ME has ever written not in all of lesfic. To add to that, I think this is my most emotional book to date as well. Enough about that you’ll find out about it in November. Anyway, Pink had a similar formula. I wrote about a lot of dark shit but some of the other antics even made ME laugh as I typed them.
In Drawing the Line, Dr. Dani Russell has a tendency to be more than a little angsty but a lot of it is self imposed. Also, she has a tendency to pull others into it. I think I’ve found my stride now and I’m working on striking a balance between the heaviness by inputting more lightness. For me, this formula has actually worked in real life as well. In a time of fear, the people in my life tried to find a way to make me laugh, keep me calm. Even as I write about the ordeal it shakes me injecting a spot of humor helped. Who would’ve thought it?
Laughter is indeed the best medicine.
3 thoughts on “Breasts, Laughter, and Angst…Oh My!”
When I had cancer, I asked if it were in my breasts that they just ‘take them’ and I gave it no other thought. To me, having silicone in them was no big deal, but the worry of having cancer was. It’s a very personal decision and I totally understand yours if and when you decide to do it. As a cancer survivor, anything you can and will do to get those ‘one more days’ is important to yourself, your family, and even your friends and fans. Do what you need to survive, mentally, physically, and emotionally.
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That’s def. my plan! Thank you.
I’ve missed your blog…you always have something noteworthy to share with us. Thanks for your courageous and insightful thoughts here; I’m so glad you came out the other side of this experience personally empowered and steadfast to do what is the most suitable for you emotionally and physically. It’s such an intimate choice for any woman to make and hers own.
Nice to hear more about the new book that you are working on; so looking forward to that this year!
The start of this year was a reminder for me how important it is to embrace radical acceptance and that indeed laughter is always the best medicine. My favorite movies and authors are a big help with that. Thanks, K.D.! 🤗
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