I have never been a disciplined writer. It comes in fits and starts. Pieces of dialogue while I’m driving, sleeping or whatever. Scenes unfold in my head sporadically. It ebbs and flows big time allowing me to chip away at the story at my leisure. I have always…ALWAYS been afraid that if writing and being published feels like work I would never be able to do it without burning down some bridges and a town or two.

I’m older now, and I know better. Who am I fooling? I want to be published as much as the next writer so that means, shutting the hell up and listening instead of letting my ego wave and flap about untethered. I’m willing to dance the cha cha instead of swiveling my hips and being dirty as long as I’m allowed a grind or three.

Knowing that I lack discipline, I have put my self on schedule, and it has proven successful. I finished the first edits of chapters 1-5 of Blurred Lines. The look and feel of it changed completely. It was difficult to silence some of the voices in the overall story, but it’s all about perception I suppose. My editor made it clear that, in lesbian romance, the audience would be more apt to want everything from the main characters POV, meaning the women that carry the story.

At first, it felt like I had killed one of my favorite characters. Then, I realized that some of the same  dialogue and scenes I thought were the linchpin of the story could still be used but in another way.

Sigh.

Still, this is where I was when I was first sought out to publish again.

This is me now.

I mean look at her.  

Talk about necessary evil. LOL But, I digress.

The shine has worn off the process a lil bit but not much. It’s like my whole body was submerged in the kool aid before. Now, that I’ve tasted it, my legs are still dangling splashing it everywhere while the rest of me really gets prepared to be in up to my eyeballs again.

I don’t mind some bitterness because I know the sweetness lies at the end.

Overall, am I complaining? Yes…yes I am, but I’m not stupid. My ego isn’t anywhere near the size of Texas…it’s only New Hampshire so I say, “Take these cookies. Take them!” (Yes that was an Empire reference) Because I want them to taste so much better.